Scratch - Kendall Payne

Kendall Payne grew up in Los Angeles, CA. She is now 31 years old. She is deep and wise. When the singer writes the song, there is an element that is lacking in songs sung by an artist who did not live the lyrics. There just is...almost a hypocritical thing. That's stretching, but the exact feeling escapes me. Many of her songs have been themes in movies and television series, perhaps for their believability, if not their beauty.

“I once had a great philosophy teacher who told me, ‘If an eagle only has one strong wing it won’t be able to fly very high. It will need to strengthen its weaker wing in order to reach new heights.’ Now I appreciate the uphill road I’ve had to climb because it’s made me develop the sides of my personality that weren’t so strong. I am a better person because of it; how could I be anything but grateful?” - Kendall Payne

"Every great songwriter needs fuel for their fire," she says, "and there is no greater fuel than the ache of rejection. I just never bargained for how hot the flame could get." Shortly after leaving Capitol, she also parted ways with her management company and Christian label counterpart. Once the darling of the industry and now alone in the music business, she recounts, "I found myself standing in my living room, ironing something while in my pajamas, wishing the phone would ring. It was quite humbling, I must say. I had made and found my identity in being an artist. If I wasn't that anymore... I didn't know who I was."

And so began a season of soul-searching. Payne remembers, "It was a very dark place for me, but in retrospect I would not trade it for all the success in the world."




♫It's a big girl world now
Full of big girl things
And everyday I wish I was small
I've been counting on nothing
But he keeps giving me his word
And I am tired of hearing myself speak
Do you ever get weary?
Do you ever get weak?
How do you dream
When you can't fall asleep?

I've been wondering what you're thinking
And if you like my dress tonight?
Would you still say you love me
Under this ordinary moonlight?
I'm so afraid of what you'll say.

I'd like to know if you'd be open
To starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To giving me a second chance

I used to think I was special
And only I have proved me wrong
I thought I could change
The world with a song
But I have ended up in India
With no lamp to guide me home.
The strangest place I think
I have ever been
And all this time
I thought that we were friends
My stubborn will is learning to bend.♫
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